"Two... one, two... crack... eight!"

Life at home.  I do not feel guilty about staying home instead of contributing to the family income.  Even though I've always had a job (until 2 years ago when Andrei was born).

Okay, I do, but then I tell myself, if I left home for work, I'd have to pay someone else to raise my child.  Which would take up most if not all the money I would make.  Plus that person I'd be paying to raise my child would probably just stick him in front of a tv all day, and yell at him when she doesn't understand what he wants.  Would I love my job so much that I'm willing to go that rout?

And some of the most important parenting tactics go against human nature, which a lot of people don't even think about, much  less are willing to change.  There's no way I could get a good enough job where I could afford to pay someone who is a better mother than I am to my kid.

Then I feel better about myself, because I am wiling to admit that my human nature needs to be overcome so that my godly virtues can shine forth and whatnot.  Plus he's my kid and no one loves him more (except God, of course).  So I'm the best choice.

And then I forget about all of that and start feeling guilty again.  It's a stupid circle...

Speaking of being a mother-- the child and I had a few intense disagreements lately. He kept telling me he wanted butterfly on his bread, or his pancakes.

I told him I didn't have any butterflies, and anyway, I wouldn't put any on his bread if I did--and why did he think it was even acceptable to eat butterflies, nobody does that here.

Then I realized, he only asked for butterfly on his bread when he saw me making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself.  Oh.  He just can't remember the word peanut butter (or words, I guess), so he says the next closest thing.  Butterfly.  Right.  I keep saying peanut butter.  He keeps saying butterfly.  We'll get there.

Also, he's started arguing with himself... that's how he puts himself to sleep now.
His new favorite song is "Happy Birthday to You," which he walks around singing half the day.

To get out of the house, we've started going to the activities that the public library hosts.  And now I'm in a situation where I have the opportunity to socialize...
Andrei has no problem socializing... a little too much sometimes when he starts bossing the other kids around.  I, on the other hand, am perfectly content to sit and watch.  And not talk to people.  But I must look awkward to them, because they keep trying to include me in their conversations.

This is a good thing, though.  The missionaries have been issuing challenges to us (because they're missionaries) and I'm actually supposed to start talking to people I don't know.  So, maybe I'll make friends with these library moms.  And then maybe I'll be able to keep up with my kid.