Two times two

I found this that I wrote and didn't post... from two years ago:  which means it's been four? Anyway:

 

Dude.  It's been two years (or more?) since I've blogged.  I wanted to look something up, and remembered that I had put it in an old blog--and found it!  Which made me miss some of the things I had been writing.  Not for others, but for myself.  This is basically like journaling for me, only I don't get hand cramps. So, I'm starting to journal again.  Now, the rest of this is my private thoughts, so stop reading.  ;-)  heheh.

People keep asking me if I'm pregnant... but that's basically been my whole life, so whatevs.  Notice that wasn't a denial?  Well, I guess you'll just have to wonder for the next nine months.  Just kidding, I'm not pregnant.  Not that I imagine very much will change when I am preggo. *snickering from the audience in my brain*  I guess I just have that "glow" about me.  Constantly.

On another note:  For our entire marriage, anytime Anton asks me a question I don't want to answer, I have been quite skilled in changing the subject or distracting him.  Recently, however, I've either lost my touch, or he's become more astute.  And so, I have been reverting to: "None of your precious business!" or "Why are you so nosy?!"
Which he finds funny.  And stops pursuing his line of questioning.  Until he gets so curious he can't handle life.

What do I even have to hide from my husband?  This blog, for one:
"What are you doing?"
"Just writing."
"To who?"
"No one."
"Writing a book?"
*snort* "No."
"Then what?"
"Don't you have work to do, why you standing there being so nosy?!"

He has access to this blog, so, clearly I'm being a weirdo.  But I also know he won't ever think to access it.  Unless I tell him about it.  Or someone else does.  *narrowing my eyes at you suspiciously*  Don't tell him.

Why did I make this a public blog?  Why do I even journal by way of blog?  Why am I full of lame questions?  I'm going to go with the blanket answer of... 42... and move on.

To these pictures, because I don't actually have anything else to move on to. Ha.

"Two... one, two... crack... eight!"

Life at home.  I do not feel guilty about staying home instead of contributing to the family income.  Even though I've always had a job (until 2 years ago when Andrei was born).

Okay, I do, but then I tell myself, if I left home for work, I'd have to pay someone else to raise my child.  Which would take up most if not all the money I would make.  Plus that person I'd be paying to raise my child would probably just stick him in front of a tv all day, and yell at him when she doesn't understand what he wants.  Would I love my job so much that I'm willing to go that rout?

And some of the most important parenting tactics go against human nature, which a lot of people don't even think about, much  less are willing to change.  There's no way I could get a good enough job where I could afford to pay someone who is a better mother than I am to my kid.

Then I feel better about myself, because I am wiling to admit that my human nature needs to be overcome so that my godly virtues can shine forth and whatnot.  Plus he's my kid and no one loves him more (except God, of course).  So I'm the best choice.

And then I forget about all of that and start feeling guilty again.  It's a stupid circle...

Speaking of being a mother-- the child and I had a few intense disagreements lately. He kept telling me he wanted butterfly on his bread, or his pancakes.

I told him I didn't have any butterflies, and anyway, I wouldn't put any on his bread if I did--and why did he think it was even acceptable to eat butterflies, nobody does that here.

Then I realized, he only asked for butterfly on his bread when he saw me making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself.  Oh.  He just can't remember the word peanut butter (or words, I guess), so he says the next closest thing.  Butterfly.  Right.  I keep saying peanut butter.  He keeps saying butterfly.  We'll get there.

Also, he's started arguing with himself... that's how he puts himself to sleep now.
His new favorite song is "Happy Birthday to You," which he walks around singing half the day.

To get out of the house, we've started going to the activities that the public library hosts.  And now I'm in a situation where I have the opportunity to socialize...
Andrei has no problem socializing... a little too much sometimes when he starts bossing the other kids around.  I, on the other hand, am perfectly content to sit and watch.  And not talk to people.  But I must look awkward to them, because they keep trying to include me in their conversations.

This is a good thing, though.  The missionaries have been issuing challenges to us (because they're missionaries) and I'm actually supposed to start talking to people I don't know.  So, maybe I'll make friends with these library moms.  And then maybe I'll be able to keep up with my kid.