Well, not much to report here. Of course why would there be... we live in the middle of a field in freaking North Dakota. Every time I say "North Dakota," I put "freaking" in front of it. Makes me feel better.
I've gotten huge. I get bigger every day. I was okay with this whole thing until the baby got big... now I've changed my mind and I don't want to give birth anymore--or at least I don't want to be conscious for it. He is going to tear me apart.
Also, I think men can get the nesting instinct, too. Anton seems more worried than I am right now. He's convinced that the baby will be born two weeks early (because he knows a few other guys who's wives had their babies two weeks early), and he was telling me about labor: "When you have a contraction that you can't breath through, that's when you need to go to the hospital... or, I mean, midwife..."
That was after he asked me if I've been feeling any labor pains. I laughed so much that morning. But he asks if I'm in labor like once a week. That started way back in August. And he's constantly reminding me to take my pills and to not squish the baby. It's kind of adorable how serious and concerned he is about everything relating to the baby. And how excited he is to have a son. I think I picked a good one. :-)
I'm thinking about dying my hair again... a dark color like maybe black or almost black. But I'm afraid that I'll change my mind after I dye it because I won't want to keep dying it...
some of the longest, most difficult struggles I go through are about my hair. I'm so fickle about it. I almost got a super, super short haircut right after I came to freaking North Dakota (hehe). But I was too scared. Ugh, someone should just tell me what to do all the time.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
A new adventure... that I hope will end soon.
I'm never going to decide to not eat sugar again. I wasn't actually eating sugar until I decided not to. Then, suddenly I suck at not eating sugar. And this is the worst time to be pregnant. I'm going to be surrounded by Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas deserts the entire rest of my pregnancy. And for some odd reason, Anton says the word, "cake" all the time! So, I dream about cake.
I even tried making some cupcakes because they sounded so incredibly delicious (they still do, actually). I had to throw away the first batch of batter I made, because it ended up all over my floor (entirely my fault). The second try, I actually got to bake, but they ended up tasting really gross (not entirely my fault... I swear I followed the recipe). So, those got thrown away, too.
And then I stopped trying to cook stuff.
Something is either wrong with me, or all the recipes I find. I look up a recipe that seems easy enough and sounds great. Then I buy all the ingredients that I don't usually have, and make it. And it ends up tasting not that great. Anton has stopped asking me to make food for him to take to work. In fact, every time I offer lately, he declines...
On the bright side... our kitten eats like a king.
In other news, we're going to North Dakota for 8 months. Anton has to take a break from school and we decided to pay some bills while we wait for him to start back up again. Plus, he's really tired of his current job and feels like it's holding him back from finishing his last semester. Yeah, we're waiting 8 months for him to come back for his last semester. Though he does have an internship afterward--but he can do that anywhere.
I was looking forward to having my baby here. I like my doctor and the measly price I would pay for him to deliver my baby. I'm also sad that I won't get to take the cool classes I signed up for (for free). But I can deal, I guess.
There are a lot of things I could complain about because of leaving here for North Dakota (like going from paying $120/month for insurance to $400/month...) but I'm trying to look on the bright side--like that I have more family there, Anton is making one giant step closer to moving on from school, and the cold is good for my skin...
Plus, I'm already used to not seeing my husband all that often--I'm bringing my sewing machine and my princess coloring book to keep me company.
I even tried making some cupcakes because they sounded so incredibly delicious (they still do, actually). I had to throw away the first batch of batter I made, because it ended up all over my floor (entirely my fault). The second try, I actually got to bake, but they ended up tasting really gross (not entirely my fault... I swear I followed the recipe). So, those got thrown away, too.
And then I stopped trying to cook stuff.
Something is either wrong with me, or all the recipes I find. I look up a recipe that seems easy enough and sounds great. Then I buy all the ingredients that I don't usually have, and make it. And it ends up tasting not that great. Anton has stopped asking me to make food for him to take to work. In fact, every time I offer lately, he declines...
On the bright side... our kitten eats like a king.
In other news, we're going to North Dakota for 8 months. Anton has to take a break from school and we decided to pay some bills while we wait for him to start back up again. Plus, he's really tired of his current job and feels like it's holding him back from finishing his last semester. Yeah, we're waiting 8 months for him to come back for his last semester. Though he does have an internship afterward--but he can do that anywhere.
I was looking forward to having my baby here. I like my doctor and the measly price I would pay for him to deliver my baby. I'm also sad that I won't get to take the cool classes I signed up for (for free). But I can deal, I guess.
There are a lot of things I could complain about because of leaving here for North Dakota (like going from paying $120/month for insurance to $400/month...) but I'm trying to look on the bright side--like that I have more family there, Anton is making one giant step closer to moving on from school, and the cold is good for my skin...
Plus, I'm already used to not seeing my husband all that often--I'm bringing my sewing machine and my princess coloring book to keep me company.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Pregnancy Humor: Speechless
Some funny things Anton has said relating to my pregnancy that have left me speechless:
Me: "Hey, my butt got bigger! I wonder when that happened..."
Husband: (almost before I finish trailing off) "Last week."
Me: *sideways speechless glance.
*talking about the baby's current stage of development.
Me: "...yeah, he's pretty long and skinny... and see-through."
Husband: "Stop trash-talking my baby."
Me: *confused speechless half-smile.
*while getting dressed one morning.
Me: "Oh, my gosh, Honey, I don't think I can do these pants up anymore!"
Husband: (quick glance at my undone pants) "Just don't squish my baby."
Me: *incredulous speechless glare.
*waking up one morning and noticing me laying beside him with a sort of pot-belly.
Husband: "Whoa, that came out of nowhere."
Me: *I-don't-even-know-how-to-feel speechless stare.
And some things that just made me laugh:
*lunch at the deli--I'm slipping my chicken onto Anton's plate.
Husband: "You should eat more. My baby likes chicken."
Me: "Haha! Your baby likes watermelon!"
Husband: "If I go to bed right now, will you do me a back massage?"
Me: "Hey, which one of us is pregnant? Shouldn't I be getting the massages?"
Husband: "You can't lay on your stomach, the baby doesn't like it, that's why it kicks you."
Me: "Nuh-uh! I just feel it more that way!"
Husband: "You know it's true."
Me: "You're making crap up!"
And actually, every time I lay on my stomach (or it looks like I'm kind of laying on my stomach) he tells me not to squish the baby. Like the baby can't handle being squished... otherwise the whole birthing process would be different. But it's really me who gets squished when I lay on my stomach.
Anyway, my favorite thing about being pregnant is that (now that I'm showing) Anton is always asking me how I'm doing or if I'm okay. Also, when I say I can't handle the smell of something, he takes me more seriously now.
Kinda reminds me of this gem of a music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMU7UVFDqO0
Except I'm not quite that manipulative (on purpose).
Me: "Hey, my butt got bigger! I wonder when that happened..."
Husband: (almost before I finish trailing off) "Last week."
Me: *sideways speechless glance.
*talking about the baby's current stage of development.
Me: "...yeah, he's pretty long and skinny... and see-through."
Husband: "Stop trash-talking my baby."
Me: *confused speechless half-smile.
*while getting dressed one morning.
Me: "Oh, my gosh, Honey, I don't think I can do these pants up anymore!"
Husband: (quick glance at my undone pants) "Just don't squish my baby."
Me: *incredulous speechless glare.
*waking up one morning and noticing me laying beside him with a sort of pot-belly.
Husband: "Whoa, that came out of nowhere."
Me: *I-don't-even-know-how-to-feel speechless stare.
And some things that just made me laugh:
*lunch at the deli--I'm slipping my chicken onto Anton's plate.
Husband: "You should eat more. My baby likes chicken."
Me: "Haha! Your baby likes watermelon!"
Husband: "If I go to bed right now, will you do me a back massage?"
Me: "Hey, which one of us is pregnant? Shouldn't I be getting the massages?"
Husband: "You can't lay on your stomach, the baby doesn't like it, that's why it kicks you."
Me: "Nuh-uh! I just feel it more that way!"
Husband: "You know it's true."
Me: "You're making crap up!"
And actually, every time I lay on my stomach (or it looks like I'm kind of laying on my stomach) he tells me not to squish the baby. Like the baby can't handle being squished... otherwise the whole birthing process would be different. But it's really me who gets squished when I lay on my stomach.
Anyway, my favorite thing about being pregnant is that (now that I'm showing) Anton is always asking me how I'm doing or if I'm okay. Also, when I say I can't handle the smell of something, he takes me more seriously now.
Kinda reminds me of this gem of a music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMU7UVFDqO0
Except I'm not quite that manipulative (on purpose).
Monday, July 21, 2014
52...
That's what the kitten typed when he jumped on the computer. He also helps me text Anton sometimes... it's pretty funny.
I've grown way more attached to the kitten than I thought I would. Everything he does is adorable to me--he pounces on everything with his tiny little paws, chases his own tail, and curls up in my hair when he wants to sleep. He also runs up to us every time we come home, like he really missed us. Maybe it's the pregnancy, but I've never liked an animal so much before. It's been a pleasant surprise.
Anyway, I like my doctor. He's pretty laid back and he doesn't tell me what to do. In fact, he asks me what I want or if I have any questions about anything. I usually don't, so he just tells me how awesome everything is and sends me on my way. It's nice. And way better than the first guy I went to.
Okay, so, my dreams have always lingered over into my waking life and affected my mood and stuff, but last week's was especially odd. I was taking a nap with Anton and suddenly freaked out: "Oh, my gosh, Anton, am I not even pregnant anymore?!"
It came out of nowhere, I wasn't even dreaming about pregnancy. I was just laying on my stomach and somehow knew that I wasn't pregnant anymore... which was weird because I wasn't even pregnant, in the first place, I thought... it took me a while to realize that I am, in fact, pregnant, just as I should be.
He started rubbing my tummy. :-)
I just got back from girls camp--it was great! Went on a five mile hike, played lots of fun games, choked on campfire smoke, and felt the baby moving around! It weirds me out. Like, really. Uncomfortably weird. I can mostly feel it when I lay on my stomach... which is getting slightly more uncomfortable every week. Anton felt it too, just recently. He said it felt like a slow punch.
While I was gone at girls camp, Rexburg experienced a flash flood. Several basement apartments got hit pretty badly. Mostly it was those who were just off main street and anyone close to the bottom of the temple hill. One of our friends lives in the bottom apartment of a complex that was right in the way, and all her stuff was destroyed (except she saved her computer). Anton gave her the rest of the money we had been saving to go to the reunion, so she could get some clothes and stuff. The other rest of the money we had been saving has to go to the car. All of Anton's off-roading caught up with it and one of the bearings needs to be replaced. So, the wheel that is near that bearing could fall off at any moment, and apparently no one here can fix it, so we have to go to our dealership in Utah to get it fixed. Hopefully the wheel doesn't fall off on the way there...
I've grown way more attached to the kitten than I thought I would. Everything he does is adorable to me--he pounces on everything with his tiny little paws, chases his own tail, and curls up in my hair when he wants to sleep. He also runs up to us every time we come home, like he really missed us. Maybe it's the pregnancy, but I've never liked an animal so much before. It's been a pleasant surprise.
Anyway, I like my doctor. He's pretty laid back and he doesn't tell me what to do. In fact, he asks me what I want or if I have any questions about anything. I usually don't, so he just tells me how awesome everything is and sends me on my way. It's nice. And way better than the first guy I went to.
Okay, so, my dreams have always lingered over into my waking life and affected my mood and stuff, but last week's was especially odd. I was taking a nap with Anton and suddenly freaked out: "Oh, my gosh, Anton, am I not even pregnant anymore?!"
It came out of nowhere, I wasn't even dreaming about pregnancy. I was just laying on my stomach and somehow knew that I wasn't pregnant anymore... which was weird because I wasn't even pregnant, in the first place, I thought... it took me a while to realize that I am, in fact, pregnant, just as I should be.
He started rubbing my tummy. :-)
I just got back from girls camp--it was great! Went on a five mile hike, played lots of fun games, choked on campfire smoke, and felt the baby moving around! It weirds me out. Like, really. Uncomfortably weird. I can mostly feel it when I lay on my stomach... which is getting slightly more uncomfortable every week. Anton felt it too, just recently. He said it felt like a slow punch.
While I was gone at girls camp, Rexburg experienced a flash flood. Several basement apartments got hit pretty badly. Mostly it was those who were just off main street and anyone close to the bottom of the temple hill. One of our friends lives in the bottom apartment of a complex that was right in the way, and all her stuff was destroyed (except she saved her computer). Anton gave her the rest of the money we had been saving to go to the reunion, so she could get some clothes and stuff. The other rest of the money we had been saving has to go to the car. All of Anton's off-roading caught up with it and one of the bearings needs to be replaced. So, the wheel that is near that bearing could fall off at any moment, and apparently no one here can fix it, so we have to go to our dealership in Utah to get it fixed. Hopefully the wheel doesn't fall off on the way there...
Friday, June 27, 2014
Meanwhile back in the desert...
Well the trip home was painful... and not just because we were leaving the good weather and family... ;-)
my lower half kept going numb, both on the planes and in the car. We did stay in Boise until Sunday, hanging out with more family and a couple friends.
We went to dinner with some friends we hadn't seen in a while and toured their family's ranch on fore-wheelers. At one point, I got off the fore-wheeler so Anton could go off jumps and do donuts and stuff. He was having so much fun! And then he did a donut too tight and flipped the fore-wheeler over. It was so cool to watch--he was like a ninja, rolling in the air as he flew off, just barely escaping being trapped under the fore-wheeler (which is about twice the size of the one we have at home).
I was so sure the fore-wheeler had nabbed his ankle, but when I got to him he was totally fine. Then he got back on to do more. :-)
Anyway, we adopted a baby kitty from the pet shelter. He's so cute and little. I wanted to keep him mostly outside but Anton will only agree to a pet if we keep him inside. City boys.
I was reading this article about happiness and it mentioned pets promoting emotional well-being and that people who have pets are usually happier. So, I decided Anton could use some emotional well-being and a little more happiness, even if it's in the shape of a little ball of fur with claws. This semester's been pretty tough on him.
We've both been smiling a lot more since we brought the little rascal home. :-)
He likes to play behind the computer.
my lower half kept going numb, both on the planes and in the car. We did stay in Boise until Sunday, hanging out with more family and a couple friends.
We went to dinner with some friends we hadn't seen in a while and toured their family's ranch on fore-wheelers. At one point, I got off the fore-wheeler so Anton could go off jumps and do donuts and stuff. He was having so much fun! And then he did a donut too tight and flipped the fore-wheeler over. It was so cool to watch--he was like a ninja, rolling in the air as he flew off, just barely escaping being trapped under the fore-wheeler (which is about twice the size of the one we have at home).
I was so sure the fore-wheeler had nabbed his ankle, but when I got to him he was totally fine. Then he got back on to do more. :-)
Anyway, we adopted a baby kitty from the pet shelter. He's so cute and little. I wanted to keep him mostly outside but Anton will only agree to a pet if we keep him inside. City boys.
I was reading this article about happiness and it mentioned pets promoting emotional well-being and that people who have pets are usually happier. So, I decided Anton could use some emotional well-being and a little more happiness, even if it's in the shape of a little ball of fur with claws. This semester's been pretty tough on him.
We've both been smiling a lot more since we brought the little rascal home. :-)
Bringing him home from the shelter
He likes to play behind the computer.
Then he cuddles after he plays.
Friday, May 23, 2014
May is the Prettiest Month
Because everything blossoms and smells nice. Anton brought me a branch of lilacs yesterday morning. He put them right by my face so I could see them when I woke up, but I noticed as soon as he put them down because I could smell them. Happy start to any day!
Well, life is pretty uneventful at the moment (or at most moments). No nausea, no hormone-induced breakdowns... okay maybe there was one...
Last week, I got really mad at Anton for drinking my Green Machine Naked drink. Really mad. I started crying, called him an insensitive jerk, and told him not come home when he got off work. Yeah, I really did. Maybe I didn't get a nap that day...?
Fortunately, he ignored that last part and came home anyway. Bearing gifts, no less. Of course, I realized how weird I was being and apologized... after I saw the gifts... ;-)
But I was talking to a friend in our book club, and she was the same way when she was pregnant--same lack of symptoms-- and she freaked out at her husband for putting the chili on the bottom when they had chili cheese fries for dinner one night--like cried and insisted that he didn't love her... so, that made me feel a little better (that I'm not a lone weirdo).
Anyway, school is out for the kiddos, which means I'm out of a job until August. Not really sure what to do with myself until then. I could look for another job, but I would feel kind of awkward saying I can only work for you for two months...
No matter. I'll enjoy the break. Except I'm really going to miss playing soccer, tag, and jump rope. Now I have to work out on my own...
I'm going to the doctor for the first time. In June, like the first week. I'll be 12 weeks by then (according to my phone).
I was kind of freaked out after coming home from my pregnancy class the day we discussed gestational diabetes... the women who gave birth to those babies we saw, went through hell. I don't care how prepared they were, nobody's vagina is that big.
So, I decided to eat as little sugar as I can. Not that I was eating much of it anyway, but I'm now looking at the ingredients of the stuff I eat to make sure it's not too loaded. And I will force myself to work out. No premature, twelve-pound babies (who are addicted to sugar) for me. Nope.
Well, life is pretty uneventful at the moment (or at most moments). No nausea, no hormone-induced breakdowns... okay maybe there was one...
Last week, I got really mad at Anton for drinking my Green Machine Naked drink. Really mad. I started crying, called him an insensitive jerk, and told him not come home when he got off work. Yeah, I really did. Maybe I didn't get a nap that day...?
Fortunately, he ignored that last part and came home anyway. Bearing gifts, no less. Of course, I realized how weird I was being and apologized... after I saw the gifts... ;-)
But I was talking to a friend in our book club, and she was the same way when she was pregnant--same lack of symptoms-- and she freaked out at her husband for putting the chili on the bottom when they had chili cheese fries for dinner one night--like cried and insisted that he didn't love her... so, that made me feel a little better (that I'm not a lone weirdo).
Anyway, school is out for the kiddos, which means I'm out of a job until August. Not really sure what to do with myself until then. I could look for another job, but I would feel kind of awkward saying I can only work for you for two months...
No matter. I'll enjoy the break. Except I'm really going to miss playing soccer, tag, and jump rope. Now I have to work out on my own...
I'm going to the doctor for the first time. In June, like the first week. I'll be 12 weeks by then (according to my phone).
I was kind of freaked out after coming home from my pregnancy class the day we discussed gestational diabetes... the women who gave birth to those babies we saw, went through hell. I don't care how prepared they were, nobody's vagina is that big.
So, I decided to eat as little sugar as I can. Not that I was eating much of it anyway, but I'm now looking at the ingredients of the stuff I eat to make sure it's not too loaded. And I will force myself to work out. No premature, twelve-pound babies (who are addicted to sugar) for me. Nope.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Pregnancy is Weird
Well, I got the flu... I think. Head cold + fever and stuff. I can tell when I have a fever because my back aches in a funny (but not really funny) way. And sadly, the cold means I can't sleep because every time I lay down, I can't breathe. I've also been really dizzy, but that happened before I got sick...
Anton is being a huge sweetheart and taking good care of me.
He's so patient, especially since I am super fickle about my food. Poor guy listens to me go back and forth about what I "feel" like eating... yikes.
Actually, I wish I could just go without food because I rarely feel like eating anything these days. Except apples. And dried cranberries. But I really hate how differently things taste. And I went from being only slightly picky, to obscenely picky.
I know I don't have any reason to worry, but I'm nervous for the changes my body is going through. I do not relish not being able to sleep on my stomach in the coming months. Or having to find space for a new wardrobe (of course I love getting more clothes... I just don't have anywhere to put them this time).
The worst thing about being pregnant so far... having to pee every ten minutes. Seriously, nothing is more maddening. Especially in the middle of the night. Anton can always tell when I have to go because I first let out a very obvious sigh that clearly indicates I'm irritated.
Oh, and I think the baby has made my ears even more sensitive... everything feels too loud. I flinch every time I hear something above 50 decibels.
Anyway, Anton and I talked, and we decided I can't be a full-time teacher and have a baby, and I would feel badly about leaving them in the middle of the school year (which is when the baby's due)--these kids should have as much consistency as they can in their lives, anyway.
So I'm back at the after-school program. It's slightly more fun, and I get more exercise. Plus I only work 2-4 hours a day... which gives me more time to nap, yay!
Anton is being a huge sweetheart and taking good care of me.
He's so patient, especially since I am super fickle about my food. Poor guy listens to me go back and forth about what I "feel" like eating... yikes.
Actually, I wish I could just go without food because I rarely feel like eating anything these days. Except apples. And dried cranberries. But I really hate how differently things taste. And I went from being only slightly picky, to obscenely picky.
I know I don't have any reason to worry, but I'm nervous for the changes my body is going through. I do not relish not being able to sleep on my stomach in the coming months. Or having to find space for a new wardrobe (of course I love getting more clothes... I just don't have anywhere to put them this time).
The worst thing about being pregnant so far... having to pee every ten minutes. Seriously, nothing is more maddening. Especially in the middle of the night. Anton can always tell when I have to go because I first let out a very obvious sigh that clearly indicates I'm irritated.
Oh, and I think the baby has made my ears even more sensitive... everything feels too loud. I flinch every time I hear something above 50 decibels.
Anyway, Anton and I talked, and we decided I can't be a full-time teacher and have a baby, and I would feel badly about leaving them in the middle of the school year (which is when the baby's due)--these kids should have as much consistency as they can in their lives, anyway.
So I'm back at the after-school program. It's slightly more fun, and I get more exercise. Plus I only work 2-4 hours a day... which gives me more time to nap, yay!
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