Little Rant + Pictures of the Kid

So, the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage.  Great!  Now, they just need to legalize polygamy, polyandry, marriage between people and animals, and remove all age restrictions so that adults and children can marry, also.  After all, love is the only thing that matters, right?

Who cares if children get thrown under the bus because of this attack on the family?  As long as gay people love each other, everything is A-OK.

Bit of verbal irony there, in case anyone believes I'm serious.

This is the only scholarly article I could post, because I had it downloaded and put it on my google drive.  Hope it works.

https://drive.google.com/drive/my-drive

Little rant over.

Anyway, Anton is doing well in school, thanks to his no longer having a night job. And also, probably thanks to God, who might occasionally play jokes on us, but in the end helps us along.

Everything is swell.  Other than the fact that we have no idea what we're doing or where we're going in two months.  But we'll find something I'm sure.  At least the baby's happy.

The little one discovered pickles.  We love pickles.  We love that he loves pickles.  Works even better than a pacifier. :-)  Which, of course, means we find pickles in odd places.

He thinks he can stand on his own.  He pulls himself up, then lets go.  And falls, of course, but it's still cute.

I found the camera cord. Well, Anton found it.  So, here are a bunch of cute pictures.  I also had a few videos but I couldn't put them on here because, even though there is an attachment that is clearly for videos, Blogger doesn't actually want anyone to be able to post videos.  It's a joke, you see.

 The baby and his pickle.  He takes it with him everywhere he crawls until he looses it.

 This is what we wake up to every morning.  :-)

 I took away the pile of rice he worked so hard to crawl to... (the rice I spilled onto the floor).

Homemaker in Training

Well.  We're back.  And it feels like home.  Probably because we own it, and have it all to ourselves.  Plus a baby.  But he's cute, so we don't mind sharing our lives with him.

Our little baby army-crawls all over the place now.  He laughs when we hang him upside down, he can sit up by himself, and he makes little cough-squeal noises when he's excited.
He also dives right for my phone every time he sees it.  Makes me a little nervous that he's already so interested in phones...

I baked some squash to feed him because I decided he's ready to cut down on milk feedings... turns out I'm the one who's not ready.
Yeah.  I got all emotional and crap.  When I nurse him, he plays with my hair.  And I think it's sweet.  It's also WAY easier than preparing real food for him, and then trying to feed it to him with a spoon. Which takes forever!

I may have to revisit that issue soon, though, because The Beast is beginning to eat every hour and I occasionally run out of milk.  And that makes the poor kid livid.

I had some cute pictures to post, but I can't get them off the camera because I have no idea where the cord is, and my computer's card reader doesn't show anything.

Anyway... Anton brought home another porcupine.  We cooked it.  The last one tasted better.  At least he has something fun to distract him from his boring homework.  Even if it does involve bringing home odd-tasting small game.

We're participating in Bountiful Basket.  I love all the cool fruits and vegetables we get!  It's like Christmas every week!  I got purple carrots.  Purple!  They're my favorite carrots.  And all the cute tiny watermelons make me so happy!

Also, I'm starting to question my resolve about not having another kid until I want to.  I keep having dreams that I'm pregnant.  All the time!  And they seem so real!  I wake up every other morning and feel my stomach to make sure there really isn't anything moving around in there.  It's so weird.  It's probably just one of my greatest fears manifesting itself in my dreams...

In other news, a friend I've known here for a little while happens to be a hairdresser.  I told her about my regrets and dreams (all concerning my hair of course), and she told me I could pull this off... so we did it.

 I know my face looks weird in this picture.  But my hair looks cool.

 Yep.  My hair is a color that's not a real hair color.  Teal.

When she was doing this to my hair, I told her this is the craziest thing I have ever done in my entire life.  And I realized... that's how boring my life is.  I need to get out more and do stuff.

Friday, March Thirteenth

The most exciting things in my life as of late:
--I stole some jam from walmart
--I'm heading back to Rexburg
--I'm not pregnant
--I may become a poet

If my career as a poet fails, I could always fall back on theivery.  Although, it was an accident.
A friend and I were using the same cart and checking out at the self-check out.  When we got to the car, I was putting the groceries in and found an unbagged jar of jam... having forgotten that I even put it in the cart, I realized I stole it.  I ran back inside and paid for it.  No one even noticed.  But it was kind of funny.

We are definitely going back to Rexburg in April to finish school.  Yes, my life is so boring that going to Rexburg is actually exciting... ;-)

I was having tons of pregnancy symptoms (like I always do... except when I'm actually pregnant), and then a girl I live with started having them, too, so I thought it was just a bug.  But it kept up and didn't go away... turns out I'm not pregnant.  But she is.  Maybe I have sympathy pregnancy symptoms.

Today is Friday, the 13th.  Which I realized after a bunch of crap happened and I was wondering why... and then something good happened at the end.  And I wrote a poem about it.

It's called, "Friday, March Thirteenth"

My face is marred by your tiny, sharp nails;
I never can cut them all.
My ears are ringing from your "little" wails-
I didn't mean to let you fall.

All that expensive makeup I used to wear,
Now is getting dusty.
I don't recall when I last brushed my hair,
And why does it feel crusty?

My favorite pair of shorts is in the sink;
They're covered in your poop.
How I have tried to give up on sleep,
But my eyes begin to droop.

Is this reality, or do I dream it?
I might be going daft.
But I'm happy, and I really mean it,
Because today... my baby laughed.

Yep, that is correct.  I made him laugh for real, today.  And I was so happy, I teared up.  A lot of things make me tear up, though... I had to explain to Anton that the crazy hormone that made me cry a lot while pregnant... still there.

Anyway, that's the sitch.

 Baby's first campfire.  He loved it... okay, he slept, and we loved it.

Five Years and Counting

Blogging from my phone... takes a lot longer.  Dang.  I just sneezed and woke up my baby.  He thinks he's old enough to fight sleep, now.  But even when he does his sleepy whine, he's still cute!

I'm starting to regret the haircut...! *face-palm* I can't tell Anton because this is what he was afraid of, and he'll never let me try anything again.  It took LOTS of time and persuasion to get him to okay this one.
I was doing fine until I saw a wedding photo as my lock screen background, and noticed how long and pretty my hair looked in the picture.  Aaahhhh!
My kids will be in high school by the time I get it that long again!

*sigh.  My anniversarry is this weekend.  Five years!  Where has the time gone!
I made sure Anton had our anniversarry off.  Today, I casually mentioned that he had the weekend off and asked if he had any plans... "Yeah, I might go off-roading," he said.
I'm considering the position he's in.
I could either let him forget and hold it over him--use it as leverage or something-- or I could kindly remind him...  I haven't decided yet.

Oh, I've been singing to my baby!  Biggest smile I've seen from him yet!  He smiles a lot, actually.  In the afternoon when he wakes up, when Anton reads to him, when he gets a bath, when I sing to him... I think he might like it here.  Earth, not North Dakota.
It's such a strange place.  North Dakota, this time.  Tiny podunk towns generally have smaller crime rates... but since I've come here I've known people who've been stabbed in attempted robbery, assaulted, and held hostage at gunpoint.  I didn't actually know the girl who was held hostage, but that happened in the trailer court where I live.  I have never seen so many cops.  And they were all standing around, looking quite bored.  Maybe it wasn't that unusual of an occurance for them.

And that's my life lately.  Mostly, this little guys is my life--he gets what he wants cause he's so stinkin' cute.

All About Andrei... and me, too.

Well, I love my baby.  I love staying home and taking care of him, and I love seeing my husband be a daddy.  Just as I expected.  :-)

I think my focus has changed.  I spend less time thinking about how much I dislike living here, and more time doting on my baby.  I feel happier.  And more tired.  And hungrier-- I am amazed at how much I can eat now.  And kind of frustrated at how much I feel like I need to eat.  I really need to start cooking more.

My baby has started to have "things" he does.  One of his things--super cute-- is that when he's laying on my chest (which also happens to be his favorite way to sleep) so I can burp him, he finds footholds, and pushes his little legs, so his little butt sticks in the air.  And just stays like that for a while.  It makes me laugh.  But also sad that he's so strong.  He's not staying tiny like I want him to.

Another of his things... from about 6 p.m. to 1. a.m. he won't let me put him down. 6 p.m. is when his daddy leaves for work. He has to be held for a few hours after Anton leaves.  Makes dinner kind of difficult for me.  Last night my dinner was popcorn and carrots, because that was what I could do with one hand at the time.  Little bugger. I think he likes Anton more than me... he smiles more when Anton picks him up than he does when I pick him up, especially when Anton reads to him.  And when he fusses in his sleep, if I put him next to Anton, he sleeps better.

I'm okay with it, though.  Anton's eating it up.

Something I'm writing down for future reference for me... my baby makes noises when he's sleeping, especially if I move him, and he sounds exactly like a baby goat.  Exactly.  It's hilarious.  I'm so going to tell his girlfriends about that when he's older.  I'll have to make a recording.

Anyway, that's my baby in a nutshell.

Here he is, calming down after I put him next to daddy

Here he is in a cute outfit that Mom got for him

And here he is smiling because Anton is reading to him

Also, I just barely did this to my hair

I feel so crazy!  Biggest change of my life!  Other than getting married and having a baby, of course.

Anton was super nervous about me cutting my hair.  He was afraid I'd hate it and cry for weeks.  But he loves it!  I do, too.  Hard to get used to, though, after having such long hair for so long. :-)

I Have a Baby :-)

It's true.  I have my very own baby now.  Been waiting a while for this little guy.  And he's sure been worth the wait... and the pain, I suppose.  Getting him here hurt... and now feeding him hurts...  but he's too cute for me to hold it against him.

I went into labor on my Dad's birthday.  That whole day, I had been super sleepy and hung out on the couch mostly.  Taking naps.  Then my ride came to pick me up just before 11:00 that night, and we stopped at walmart to get groceries before going back to our trailer.

I started feeling very odd while I was walking around walmart and recognized it as contractions, which I began to time, and figured it was fake because sometimes it was 9 minutes apart, sometimes 2, and sometimes 5.  And the intensity of it was always different--sometimes it hurt, but mostly it was just uncomfortable and weird.

I mentioned it to the girl I was with, and she offered to take me back to my parents' house since we hadn't left town yet.

I said no, it seems fake, and anyway, Anton can take me back if it turns out to be real...

Well, I got home and tried to sleep, but I kept feeling the contractions, so I got in a hot bath, which didn't do much.  I kept getting in an out and trying to sleep, and hoping it would go away because it was really starting to hurt.

By around 5 in the morning, I called my midwife and told her that I had been timing it for over an hour and they were all under 6 minutes... but I still wasn't sure if it was real, and I didn't want to drag her out of bed if it wasn't.  She advised me to take a bath and call her in a couple hours if it didn't go away.
I don't know why I failed to mention that by that point, I had been experiencing labor pains for the past 6 hours, 4 of which I spent mostly in a hot bath already...

It's kinda funny-- the whole third trimester, I kept saying how ready I was for this baby to come out, and Anton and I were both feeling impatient about it... but then that night, I was praying that the pain would go away because I decided I wasn't ready anymore and I didn't want to have a baby yet.

I waited for Anton to get home from work, which he does around 7 a.m., and when I heard him on the porch, I called him and told him to put his boots back on and start the jeep, because our baby was coming, whether I was ready or not.

He was so excited!

So, I show up at Mom and Dad's, can't hadle the pain, get in the bath, my midwife comes, about an hour later, she checks me and I'm dilated to a 7.

A little while later (by this point I have no concept of time), my water brakes... and then the real pain hits.

Oh, man, I thought I couldn't handle it before, but after that, I really started to hate life, and decided that maybe I don't want kids anymore.
Then I found myself wrenching free of my midwife's and Anton's hands, crying, "I can't do it," which... kind of freaked Anton out because I was totally hysterical, but I'm pretty sure the midwife told me to get a hold of myself.

Then the baby really started to come out.  That part took forever (an hour and a half, my Mom said, but it felt more like 10 hours at the time), and then when I could feel his head actually coming out, I was slightly relieved.  Only slightly, though, because it still really hurt.  I was just relieved to see that I was actually making progress.
Once his head was all the way out, the rest of him follwed instantly.  There was a true double knot in his cord, which was also wrapped around his neck.  My midwife totally handled it, Anton cut the cord (which was impressively thick--even the midwife was surprised), and I held him... all slimey and everything.  It was gross, but I was already in a bathtub full of blood, so... whatever, I guess.

He was so perfect, I said to Anton, "Look what we made," and as he cuddled with our baby, a couple hours later, he said, "We need more of these!"  Of course, I felt like jello, so I said, "Ha!" as in, "yeah, right!" at the thought of doing that again.

But I'm already forgetting the pain.  I know it hurt... but it's getting harder to remember the actual pain.  Weird.

A couple weeks ago...

This is what I had written before I had a baby:

A ray of sunshine in this dark, cold place... when my husband shows up where I work, notices I'm wearing the earrings he bought for me in Hawaii, tells me I look pretty, and then gives me the fruit snacks he just bought at my till.  :-)

And when he comes to have a breakfast date with me.  Those are my favorite days.

Also he was being cute the other morning (I talk about him like he's my kid... although sometimes I do feel like more of a mother-figure than I'd like to be... hehe).  He asked me if it's not too early for me to make the baby come out, because he wants his baby already.
He read the Husband-Coached Childbirth and now considers himself to be in charge of telling me how to prepare for labor, and what to do when I'm in labor.
I think it's so sweet how concerned and sincere he is--he called me up in the middle of the night to tell me about all these exercises I should be doing, and wanted to make sure I know what they are and how to do them:

Husband: "...do some hip stretches... and stretch your pelvic bone..."
Me: "Uh-huh."
Husband: "Do you know what pelvis rocking is?"
Me: :-) "Yes, Dear."
Husband: "Okay,then do it before you go to bed.  And you need to learn how to relax all the way so that the baby can come out.  So, practice that, too."
Me: "Yes, Dear."
Husband: "And are you doing your Kegels?"
Me: "Yes, Dear."
Husband: "Okay, because that will make it easier for him to come out."

And he still calls the umbilical cord a USB cord sometimes.

I don't argue with him about any of it because I think it's just so sweet!

Anyway.  Life is pretty uncomfortable right now... Mostly because of the baby.  And freaking North Dakota's winter.  But on the bright side, this is the third time I've been right in the middle of some kind of flu outbreak since I got here, and not even been phased by it.  Pretty sure this baby is making me healthier.

And then I had a baby.  And he's cute.  I'll have pictures in another post, I think.