Don't Pick a Fight with your Brain

I feel so enlightened by what I'm learning, I just have to share it.  This is from the classes I've started for recreation therapy.

That calculation for the Maximum Heart Rate that I mentioned to Annie is this: 220 minus your age.  Multiply that by .6 and then multiply the 220 - age by .9.  That is your aerobic training zone--when fat is most efficiently used as fuel.
For example, mine is 220 - 22 = 198;  198 x .6 = 118.8;  198 x .9 = 178.2.  So my MHR is between 118 and 178.  That's what my heart rate should be when I exercise.

In a movie we watched in class today, I learned that the moment you start a diet, you begin a battle with your brain (which explains why Fast Sunday is always so difficult, because when I have not made a conscious decision to fast, I can go quite a long time without food).  Anyway, he (the narrator) said that there is no limit to how much fat a person's body can store (obviously), the cells simply keep growing to accommodate for more storage, and fat is the only thing your body will do this with.  Our bodies love fat so much that when anything extra (like protein or carbs) is ingested, your body just turns it into fat.
Anyway, say you stick to your guns and don't eat as much, especially not as much fattening foods.  Well, you don't start losing fat right away.  Your liver has special reserves of glucose, accompanied by water.  Glucose only gives you half the energy fat does, but your body takes it gladly because it doesn't have to get rid of the fat it so desperately loves.  Since glucose is accompanied by so much water, you pee a lot---which also explains why I get that symptom before starting my period, because PMS makes me lose my appetite, I eat less, and my body starts using up the glucose stores. That was a nice revelation.
Well, it seems like you're loosing a lot of weight, because sugar water weighs a lot.  And then your liver runs out of sugar-water...
So, when you stop ingesting as much as your body is used to, your stomach tells your brain that it's not getting filled (because it's used to being stretched further) and then your brain tells you that you're experiencing a crisis: starvation...even when you're not truly starving, you still feel like you are--and that you need to fix it. No more glucose, just pure starvation.
Unfortunately, it takes about a month to lose the amount of weight in fat that you lose in sugar water in like four days.  IF you keep it up.  IF you can mentally withstand the very real feeling of physically being starved... to death (even though you won't really die).

BUT there is hope.  Physical exercise is the only thing that forces your body to use up it's fat reserves without your body feeling like it's slowly dying.  AND the better shape you're in, the more fat your body uses up.  The more muscle a person has, the more calories that person burns... twenty-four hours a day.

I love how much I learn!  This stuff is so much more interesting than my boring life.

You don't own me...

This was a post I started like a week ago:

The song, "You don't Own Me," by Leslie Gore is stuck in my head right now.  That's why I named the post that.

Wow, it has been one heck of a week.  I get up at 5:30 and go to bed as soon as I get home.  I haven't cooked... since school started.  Poor Anton.  I have to make food, though, because I'm gone all day and I need nutrients... preferably eagle eggs.  Just kidding.  Nacho reference.  Not kidding about the need for sustenance.

I had a fitness test for one of my classes... and I suck.  I knew I could have run it faster, but I was so tired, and I really didn't want to.  So now I really do work out every morning at 6:00 A.M. (but I have to get up at 5:30 because apparently it takes me half-an-hour to get ready to work out... weirdo).
This morning, no one was there.  I saw one old guy in the gym.  Six in the morning on a Saturday, and suddenly all the cool kids who usually work out turn into hobos... there's only one day of rest.
They're not actually homeless bums, I just like the word, hobo.

So, one of my classes is that I have to work in the preschool lab... and be a preschool teacher... I had no idea how difficult this would be.  The supervisors keep pushing us to be creative, but I am the opposite of creative.  The kids are cute, though.  I do a LOT of research because I have to be an "expert" on everything I teach.  Crazy, how much I'm learning that I never knew.
My next lesson for the li'l munchkins is going to be on ladybugs, because they have shown some interest in the spotted insect.  Ladybugs are vicious killing machines.  They begin killing and eating other bugs the second they hatch.  They'll bite you too.  But they won't fly if the temperature is under 55 degrees, Fahrenheit.

I love Saturdays!  I get so much done, and I have so much free time... half of which I spend doing homework.

That was the end of what I had written.  Unfortunately, the part where I haven't cooked a single thing since school started... is still true.  Three weeks now.  Yikes!

I enjoyed visiting the family, though.  And I realized how much I miss the mountains, and rivers, and trees, and GREEN.  I just want to smell that fresh air every time I go outside--Instead of stupid hamburger grease and exhaust.  Blekh!

I like to leave my windows and door open for the circulating air (except when the wind picks up and carried those gross smells from the fast food places over... which is pretty often), and all I hear is car, after car, after car, after car, and people screaming.  I think I'm slightly more stuck-up than I guessed.  I don't want neighbors.  Ever again.

Early to bed and early to rise...

...makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.  I get up at 6:00 every morning now.  It's pretty awesome.  I have so much more time in my day.  And I'm never late for class anymore... no trouble finding parking... I don't even need 9 hours of sleep anymore.  I feel happier.  I definitely recommend it.  I started doing it so I could work out, but I've been doing homework instead.  Now I'm taking a class where my homework IS to work out... hmm.

The only downside is that every day around 4:00 P.M. I hit a wall and it becomes incredibly difficult for me to keep my eyes open.  But 4 o'clock is way too late to take a nap, and I have classes during appropriate nap times.

I can't believe how much I'm learning.  Just when I think my learning on a certain subject has peaked, I take a class that tops everything.  Happens every semester.  Love it.

I'm pretty sure my body is getting normal finally (except for the whole pregnancy symptoms for PMS ordeal... which I guess is normal... I feel so nauseous right now... yet I want to devour everything I smell--food-wise.  Chocolate, peanut butter, and a coffee flavored power bar that I specifically remember the Lloyds used to have when we were younger).  The infections seem to be gone.  I've been making a substantial effort to eat better AND sleep better... or at least go to sleep at reasonable times.  I can't make myself actually sleep better.  In fact, I haven't had a restful night's sleep since I came to Rexburg--except that one time when I was sick and Anton gave me Niquil, which I had never had before, and it knocked me out for 10 hours (didn't wake up once).  But then I couldn't sleep for two weeks after that.

Anyway, the sun is shining, Anton and I are planning picnics and camping trips, people are finally letting me babysit their kids, and I just discovered the most amazing cake.  I don't really like cake (except cheesecake, which is the best), but I went to a friend's birthday party and she had an ice cream cake from Coldstone.  I always knew ice cream cake was my favorite (even though I hadn't had it since I was like 7).  It was so yummy!

Discovering how delightful the word Chia sounds...

I love vinegar!  My electric tea pot (one of my most favorite kitchen appliances... of the three kitchen appliances that I have) gets hard water stains on it every so often, and nothing cleans hard water stains on stainless steel... except vinegar.  Course it makes my house smell very pungent, because I put the vinegar in it and turn it on to clean it.  But it cleans like nothing else.  I also like to drink vinegar.  Mixed with water--I tried drinking it by itself one time, just to see... I started suffocating.

Anyway, school's out!  For a week.  Then I go back again.  And again, and again.  I don't think I'll ever stop wondering what I'm supposed to be doing for homework.  But I am finally enjoying some peace now that my atrociously loud and annoying neighbors are gone.

My hair is getting very long.  I feel like doing something drastic like a super short, layered cut.  But I'm afraid.  Can't undo a haircut.  It's taken me three years just to get it this long again (then again, I have been cutting it during the three years).

I've been wondering... if you capsule a certain food, or whatever, that is healthy but gross, will it do the same thing as eating it?  Like Anti-plague, Chia seeds, Aloe plant meat, or stuff like that?

Oh, I baked a cheesecake!  From scratch.  First I made it for a friend because I borrowed her pie pan and etched their name into it without asking, and decided to return it with a cheesecake in it so they wouldn't notice... but Anton saw me making it and smelled it (it smelled divine) and thought it was for him.  He was so excited and it was so sweet, I just couldn't make him watch me give it to someone else.  So we ate it and it was so yummy!  I love making cheesecake from scratch, now.  I made another one and gave the pie pan back.  And told them what I was trying to cover up.

I went to the dentist this week.  It was the third try of trying to get a couple fillings.  The anesthetic wasn't working so they told me to come back later.  I came back later and it still didn't work.  He kept trying several shots of different kinds of anesthetic and nothing worked so he'd send me home.  This time they shot me up six times with the strongest stuff they had (plus laughing gas), and I still felt everything.  I was flopping around in my chair because of all the nerves he was hitting, but it had to be done.  Of all the the things my body could choose to be resistant to it had to be dental anesthesia.  Hmph.

Not doing my homework...might as well blog.

I feel like my life is made up of one big ball of stress.
I started having pregnancy symptoms over three weeks ago.  Every single symptom.  One week is PMS, two weeks, kinda stretchin' it, but still could be PMS, three weeks... that's definitely suspicious.  I'm not pregnant, though.  Just WEIRD.
Symptoms for pregnancy and PMS are mostly the same... but having to pee every 10 minutes... I thought for sure that one was just pregnancy (it's also a symptom of a UTI but I don't have one of those).  Whatever.  It's like the little boy who cried wolf--I won't believe my body when I actually am pregnant.

Anyway, I'm pretty impressed with myself for this semester.  Much learning, and good grades.  But I am so ready for finals to be over and to get a little breather from school.  I've been breaking out pretty badly, probably from stress.  And going to bed at odd times, like 7 p.m.  Bleh.
I'm trying to get up at 6 every morning to work out... and it's working great!  Except instead of working out I've been doing homework.

My landlords are back, which means my incredibly annoying neighbors are leaving.  Yes!  I guess I didn't realize how much I hate having neighbors until I came to the city... of Rexburg.

Heh, Anton's alarm just went off, and I told him he better get up and go to class, to which he replied, "Hate trees!"  As in, "I hate trees."  Not sure what that was about.  He does say some pretty funny things when he's sleep talking.  Half the time it's in Russian and I have no idea what it means.

So excited for the nice weather, finally!  And for our garden.  It's going to be great!  Anton wants to can stuff from our garden, because we'll definitely have an abundance of food.  Guess I'll add a pressure cooker to the list of things I need to save up for.  (And learn how to use).

Start with the basics... what am I eating?

So, a friend on facebook was saying how wonderful this movie, called, "Hungry for Change" is and that everyone needs to watch it because of how amazing it is.  She was very adamant.  So I watched it (it's on Netflix)... and she's absolutely right!  Seriously, changed my life.
I know Mom was right about everything, I'm just the kind of person who needs to know why.  I need to know why something is helpful or hurtful because then I know why I'm doing it or avoiding it.  I need to have a goal or bigger picture in my head that guides me toward all the littler, detailed pictures.  Well, I feel like I just get it now.  I'm totally more motivated than ever to be healthier!  And Anton's on board with me (mostly).  It's easier when the person who lives with me has the same goals... or at least close to the same goals... ; )

Same thing happened with water.  Everyone says, "drink water," "you need water," "water's good for you," but no one ever told me why water is good for me--how is water good for me?  Then I took a health class and we had a whole section on water.  Now I understand, and I drink more water (or at least make a conscious effort to do it) than I ever have before.  I love water!

My new goal is to save up for a juicer.  Before I get the piano, even.  A really nice juicer.  Also, Anton and I are going to have a bigger garden this coming spring (and plant earlier).  I want to bottle stuff, too, but I don't know how, and I'm pretty sure I don't have anything I need to do that... another thing to work on!

I've decided to stop hating food.  All this time I've just been hating food because even smelling it makes me feel gross.  But I've been focusing on the wrong things.  Food can be my friend as long I find the right kind.  Natural food, like what I grow in my garden.  I think I want to try to like fish... I know, gross.  But it has so many health benefits.  I've been taking a tiny bite of Anton's fish that he brings home and cooks every once in a while, but it always tastes like fish... : (  I think if I try cooking it differently, adding flavors to make it taste better I might be able to handle it.  Might. We'll see.
I know that the first step to making positive changes in my life is very basic--what I actually put into my body.  I don't want to be depressed all the time.  I want to find things I enjoy and keep on enjoying.
The sun came out today and it was nice!  The snow is MELTING!  Finally.  : )

Call me... Marvin

So the really bad headaches I've been getting... I think it's from lack of sleep.  I actually have no idea but the ONLY thing that will get rid of my headaches is sleep... what else could it be?  I mean, really, nothing else works.  I've tried water, tea, caffeine (just chocolate), and even resorted to pain killers when it got that bad.  Nothing even puts a dent in it.  Except sleep.  I like sleep, the downside is that I can't just go sleep every time I get a headache.  I have class, and homework and stuff.  So usually, Anton's the one who suffers most from my headaches because the first thing I sacrifice is cooking--that's just the thing at the bottom of my list.

Anyway.  My tablet is smashed because my book-bag broke while I was walking to class.  Sucks because we kind of spent money on it that we really could have used for other things... like food or bills.  It's just that Anton and I have tried sharing one computer and it really doesn't work--one of us just has to suffer... which ends up being that we both suffer.  Oh well.  The tablet still works, mostly.  The screen is all broken and cracked, though, so some things are pretty difficult.  And I get little shards of glass in my fingers every time I use it.

I registered for my classes, and four of the classes I need are all scheduled during the same time.  There's only one of each and nothing online.  So I picked the most important one and added a couple health/fitness classes to keep my status full-time.  The other three... well, I'll just have to stay here longer.

I am applying to manage a married housing complex owned by the school.  Getting that job would be a huge break for us.  There's just a pretty big reason they might not hire me... I'm still a full-time student.  If I got that job, I could go part-time and just stay here even longer, though.

I feel like all my posts are just depressing.  Like I'm turning into Marvin, the chronically depressed robot (a character from one of my favorite books, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy).  Maybe when the weather gets nice and sunny, I'll have better ones.  Must... have... sunshine... (gasping for last breath).  Yeah.